Conclusion and analysis.

Perhaps the first thing I should tell you in this conclusion is that I really don't think I am any where near finished. I realise that there are so many other paths that are available to gay and lesbian people and I would like to take a look at a few of the others.

Perhaps one of the spiritual paths that queer folk could follow is none at all. Or at least in any organised way. Is some sort of organised religion or disorganised spirituality really something that people need in their lives. Perhaps it is yet another one of those things in our lives, like Christmas cards, dental floss and IRAs, that we are told we just can't live without, but we have never really given much thought to why.

We add labels of "religion" and what not to these institutions. I would like to make the bold assertion that most of the time when people talk about religion, they aren't really talking about at all. Perhaps one of the most striking things I have realised from this study, others and life experience, is that when people talk about their religion, what they are really talking about is community. Look back over what the people I talked with said. Over and over, whether Faerie or Presbyterian, it was the community that mattered to them. Perhaps this is why so many people are willing to stay within denominations that condemn them. Quite frankly, they don't care about theology, scripture or proclamations from the General Assembly. They are still going to whatever church because all their friends are there and they like the fried chicken. I think if you looked at even the fundamentalist congregations and dug deep enough you would find the same thing.

The second thing to have really struck me when thinking about all the people I talked to in relation to each other is that religion is really what you make of it. Being a Catholic doesn't necessarily mean you will never be true to your self any more than being a Faery will mean that you will be authentic. I saw Faeries for whom sex had become an addictive trap and a carefree lifestyle an excuse to walk away from any responsibility in life, just as I have seen others that are too frightened to express their true self and end up living a lie to satisfy the church. As with most things in life, the happy medium seems to be the best way. I guess it doesn't matter what path you take, so long as you make sure to stay in the middle of it. This wisdom was demonstrated by the elders of each of the traditions I examined. Sister Mish realising the reality of where they lived and how they would need to interact with townspeople or Carter realising the reality of her "on the edges" position are two examples of this.

Do I think that it doesn't matter at all which religion you are in or that the beliefs and practices of that religion won't shape or color who you are and what you think and do? Certainly not. I think that my previous research and looking at the effect Rob has on his congregation prove that. I realise that I am contradicting myself here. Seems like a paradox to me. I can deal with that.

In thinking of what I might tell some one who is gay or lesbian and is looking for a spiritual home, a few things come to mind. First, you don't necessarily have to leave the religion of your childhood. People like Carter, Sister Angela and Roger have found ways to stay within the faith of their childhood and make it work for them without giving up their honor and dignity and remaining authentic to themselves. Secondly, you don't have to stay within the faith of your childhood. Especially if staying is tearing you apart. Let's face it, people like Carter and Roger #1 are VERY lucky to have found the niches they have in order to survive and remain authentic and #2 are very unique people with great drive, energy and resilience. Ideally, you would be able to find a place where you felt comfortable with the community and felt you could remain authentic to yourself.

If I thought commandments were a good thing, I think I would definitely put, "thou shalt be authentic" somewhere on the top of the list. Whatever religious tradition you are in, I feel it is of supreme importance that you follow the axiom, "to thine own self be true." Roger could have chosen to become a member of a MCC church, which would have probably been easier for him as far as finding acceptance, but to be true to himself and his views on theology, he knew he could not do this. If you are playing the "don't ask, don't tell" game or worse, barricading yourself in the closet at your place of spirituality, you aren't being authentic. If you are at a Faery gathering and all the craziness is making you really nervous and you really want to be in a nice safe sanctuary where you can listen to the music, you aren't being authentic.

I hope that reading this has been beneficial to you in some way, whether you are queer or not.