K Mark Demma
REL 111 - Mathews
Semester Project Report

I perhaps cheated a bit in my choice of religion to scrutinize, considering that I chose to explore a religion that I already have a great quantum of knowledge concerning, considering that it is my own religion. Given that I wished to seek out other Wiccans on my own anyway and considering that my time has become limited, I decided to "kill to birds with one stone" so to speak. What I discovered was not as much new information about the religion as it was a new way in which I was beginning to perceive myself in that religion. It has become a personal challenge for me to find ways of not only integrating my religion into the context of my own life, but to also find new ways of relating to people who have different faiths -- to find common ground and common themes and conceptions in which we can connect. It has also become a challenge to face a new capacity in which I am not around as many people who are either more knowledgeable about my religion or at least as knowledgeable to one in which I am having to explain my religion to people who have little knowledge of it and perhaps are wanting to learn more about it.

Coming to WWC represented a new beginning in my life, a chance to go off into new directions. In doing Tarot readings on myself before moving, the figure that appeared continuously was that of the Fool. The Fool is the 'zero' card, the one that represents a beginning. He is shown looking over a cliff holding a blank sheet of paper and a bag full of seeds. The paper, the seeds are both symbols that represent potential. They are potential of what we can do. The seeds are there, it is up to us to plant them in the right place and tend them so that they might grow into something that can provide nourishment for yourself and others. When I moved here, I felt to a certain extent as if I was a plant that was being taken out of a cramped little pot inside a dark sterile building that did not get nearly enough light and water and being transplanted to a sunny place outside where it could finally get a chance to grow to it's potential. One of the ways I wished to grow is to explore more fully and experience the aspects of my own faith. I wanted to be able to feel more as if I was living a life that was more in tune with the rhythms of life around me. I wanted to live my life remembering fully that I am part of the web of life. I am not sure that I have been able to connect to these things in exactly the way I have wanted. I have found myself being caught into yet another hamster wheel, running around and around. Even in this attempt to explore the Wican religion, I have felt less joy than I have felt frustration. Frustration when I feel I am not following the ideals I talk about so much. Frustration when I become caught in petty things. Frustration when I see a world that values greed, indifference and material possession more than people, love and being alive. Frustration when I am rushing to meet deadlines instead of truly enjoying life. Frustration in finding others that hold the same beliefs that I do. Finding other WItches was a very important objective for me when I came here.

One of the aspects of the Wiccan Faith that is very important is that of Community. Although many people study, worship and celebrate on their own, I have found it much more meaningful to celebrate with a group of close people -- in other words, a coven. The only name I had when I came to Asheville was Dixie Deerman. I found, however, that when I spoke to her that her group was much too hierarchical for my tastes. My feelings were further confirmed when I we heard her speak to our class. She seemed more interested in acquiring power for selfish purposes than using it for the good of others. I then was pointed in the direction of one of the elders of the local Wiccan community. He was a fascinating man to speak to and I had hoped to go and visit with him. Unfortunately, he was very ill and passed on before I had a chance to meet with him. The next person I had a chance connect with was Byron, whom Jeanne had introduced some of us to. Her group was very informal by contrast and much more to my tastes. I enjoyed being with her group but unfortunately have not been able to arrange transportation to join with them again.

Not seeming to be able to find a way to reach out to people outside the "Warren Wilson Bubble", I have spent some effort to find others on campus who may wish to form some sort of group. This started with an announcement in Campus Happenings. This did not seem to produce much results. Another way I found to share my faith with others was through the campus publication "Common Commode", specifically when I did an issue that had been inspired by a ritual I attended that honoured those who were murdered during the burning times. (See appendum.) Multiple page rebuttals to what I had to say appearing in other publications, however, has made me wonder exactly how well received this attempt may have been. After a while, I honestly did become discouraged in my search and ceased to put much effort into this quest.

I was soon to find, however, that people ended up coming to me to find out more about Wicca. It pleased me when the class was willing to participate in a Samhain ritual and to fully participate in the circle as well. I found myself cast into a new role of being the one sought rather than the one who was being sought. People from the class asked me to perform a ritual so that they could have their required five religious services. I found myself sitting with a group from class explaining the basic beliefs, practices and theology of the Wiccan faith. From the level of participation, I felt that the classmate in attendance where not there just because they were required to attend, but rather that they were truly interested in learning and exploring.

The Charge of the Goddess states that, "Those who seek to know me, know that your seeking and yearning will avail you not unless you know the mystery. For if that which you seek, you do not find within, you shall never find without." The person I interviewed said something similar when she said that, "If there is a gate to heaven, it is the broken one you just stepped over. Relax, take your shoes off and stay for a while." Perhaps what I need to realise is that all this searching around for some genuine certified witches has left me blind to those people right under my nose that may not have labeled themselves as "witches" or even refer to deity in the same way that I do, but nonetheless are people that I can connect with in the sacred dance of life. Perhaps I am being told that I need to start looking more from within rather than external factors. Perhaps seeing people like Dixie is a lesson to me: do not become hung up on ego, cosmetics and appearances. She tried so hard to "look" the right part, have all the right training and credentials, sound authoritative and let everyone know how "powerful" she was. Listening to Rebecca tell me how she lives her life, finding the sacred in the most mundane things and finding ways to share in the sacred dance without too many formalities attached perhaps is a lesson to me that I just need to look down and see that broken gate which lies at my feet. The solution to the mystery is that I already have which I seek.

K Mark Demma
REL 111 - Mathews
Faith Interview

Rebecca Moon is a 40ish mother of a 12 year old boy who works as a nurse practitioner at a military hospital. She is also a Witch. Now, from her upbringing in a lower-middle class Southern Baptist household, you might not expect this to be her chosen faith. Her journey to arrive at this stage of her faith is an interesting one indeed.

As a teenager, she experienced some ideas that were to shake up the concrete cut and dry Christian upbringing. She was hearing things about War (I am guessing Vietnam) and began to rethink her ideas about war and peace. She realised that many things that she wasn't supposed to question simply didn't make sense. Later in her life she came to the point that she could claim that she was not a Christian and feel comfortable with that revelation. She found in Goddess religion an empowerment that had not come from her childhood religion. After being drawn to this new religion, she found it important to interact with other people that believed as she did and in them found a spiritual community. She also relates that becoming a mother was also a very important experience in her life.

The people that are most important in Rebecca's life are those who, "I can be totally honest with. People who understand my spirituality -- people I don't have to lie to." She has found, "powerful spiritual sister relationships" with people that she has come to know at Unitarian Universalist fellowships and women's gatherings. She says that she does not feel as comfortable at family functions because they do not know her "real" authentic self. She says that her parents are good people, but she cannot talk to them about many of the aspects of her life: her spirituality, her sexuality, etc. She spoke of a sort of code of silence where certain things could not be spoken. For example, she says that as a teenager she could not dream of talking to her mother about (s.e.x.). She told me that she found her first love very empowering. She said that First True Love helped her to throw off many of the myths of her childhood and to think things through for herself.

Some of the peak experiences in Rebecca's life have centered around childbirth. She is a midwife and has helped many women through the childbirth process. She related to me that the first birth she attended was on Christmas. She had always had an affinity to the winter holiday, but had found that it was warped for her. She found herself drawn to the image of Mary, Mother of God. After she had named herself as a witch, she could see Mary as the Goddess. She was later able to reframe her childhood religion as one way of looking at the Virgin Mother. She said that she did this reframing while doing services at the Unitarian Church with another Witch. She could see that Mary was just another manifestation of the Goddess, slightly obscured within Christian Mythology. During the service, dozens of Nativity's where set up along the front of the podium platform. People came up after the service and were transfixed by the image of the divine birth. The mythologies may change, but the images still speak to our hearts. It is, "one of many ways of looking at divine in everyday life. It allowed me to realise that the weird religious messages from childhood were no better or worse that any other."

Her most important beliefs and values are to, "listen to my own heart and to believe that my heart knows what is right for me. I may not be wise enough to understand, but if my heart says to follow a path I should listen to it." She also feels that it is important to be, "An active participant in the circle of life -- to see the divine in everything and every moment." She feels that we have strayed from this path and instead we, "Kill everything in our path to get what we want." When asked if there is any purpose in life, she responded that, "The purpose of any life is to live. That is all I know. At this point it is important for humans to get back into the Dance and not just be the big dog that gets all the cookies." She does not believe that her approach is more right or that there are beliefs that people "ought to have". " 'Ought to have' brings up an allergy in me. {There are} many ways, many paths, many truths that all represent the divine." She did admit, however, that she thought that, "the way of the heart is better than dogma -- but I guess that is a dogma. But dogma does tend to keep a tribe together, doesn't it. Who the hell knows. [she laughs]."

The most important religious symbol to her is, well, unconventional even among witches. She speaks of MinneTonka as being her most important symbol. MinneTonka is a hidden symbol that is right in front of you, if you know where to look. It is a mystery in that you must be shown the way to discover this mysterious Goddess. This is how one discovers her: Go to any supermarket and get yourself a box of Land-O-Lakes butter. Cut out the maiden on the box. Then cut out the butter box that she is holding. Next, cut out the knees from the duplicate image on the other side of the box and paste them where the hole was cut to remove the box. The effect is that the maiden appears to be offering the milk of her breasts to you, and that her head is crowned by the Halo of the "O" in Land-O-Lakes.

To her, it is basically very sacred, "That you can find spirituality anywhere. If you look for it you can find it. It isn't divorced from mirth. It is not divorced from where you are. {MinneTonka] represents something from way back that you can find in everyday things." Other examples of this phenomena is the Mazola Corn Maiden and Aunt Jemima, whose name ironically resembles the African Goddess Yemaya. Coincidence??? Rebecca says that, "If there is a gate to heaven, it is the broken one you just stepped over. Relax, take your shoes off and stay for a while." She insists that this saying was channeled to her from "Our Lady of the Fragrant Yoni." I shall not even attempt to explain that one. Rebecca finds that she finds dance to be an important part of her rituals. I was honoured to be the first man that has been afforded the honour of participating in one of her "Moon Dance" workshops. She creates an altar and entices you get in touch with your own body through movement.

Her answers to some of the ways she perceives life are very interesting. When asked what she did when she felt discouraged, she responded that it helped to realise that, "It comes in waves." Which sounds almost as cryptic as to come from a Zen Buddhist, but I think I understand what she means. Taken from a pagan perspective, life is cyclical and even if live is in a downward pattern now, it will not always be that way. When she is discouraged she will talk to friends or get drunk. One of the things that does discourage her is the way we are destroying the trees and animals. To her, death means, "That my body quits working and goes back into the Earth and becomes something new." She sees suffering in the world as being caused, in part by, "fighting against the tide. Being blind to see our options. A certain amount is part of lives when we are the 'big dogs'."

When asked if she has had any important religious experiences in he life, she replied that she has had many, because, "Life is an important religious experience." She sees God as "narrow definition". When she prays she says that she is allowing herself to connect with the divine. The faith of her childhood saw sin in things like dancing or playing cards. She now sees "sin" as having the attitude of, "I don't give a shit who this hurts, I am going to do it anyway." She often finds it difficult to hold her beliefs in the modern, materialistic, dismembered world. "How do I balance all the things I have chosen to be involved in with buying into the security which costs a great deal. I don't have the time to follow my heart or to be with my child." She realises that to have this security in our world comes at a price.

I asked her specifically what it meant to her to "be a witch". She answered:
It is going back into the circle. People have many ways of doing it. Some have dogma, but it is really about trying to reconnect yourself to the rhythms of life. Trying to connect to a time and a place when people where not overwhelmed. I believe that there was a time when people fit in like trees and goats and frogs. It seems that being a Witch is about trying to find that again. It is looking to the Earth to heal your cuts and adding your power to heal the Earth's cuts. Being a Witch is eternal and it is about finding fun in life too.

It has become Rebecca's calling to become a channel for people to connect to their own hearts. She does have an effect on people. She effects people in her work with women who come to her clinic, who may come in for antibiotics but also are encouraged to connect with their bodies. She effects people with whom she holds circles, and people she encourages to dance. She has been inspired to write down some of the things she feels and the slips of paper that don't become lost come together in writings that are sent out to those whom she knows would appreciate it. Somehow it gives me a measure of hope for this world knowing that there are people like Rebecca out there quietly trying to change it.

K Mark Demma
REL-111 Matthews
Journal Entries

Wiccan Rituals and Guests

Circle at Byron's House

Jeanne had offered to take some of us that were going to be concentrating on Wicca to a circle at Byron Ballard's house. I was quite very excited about getting to hang out with some other pagan-type peeples. (sic) The group was very eclectic and quite laid-back and friendly. We went outside for a ritual in the back yard. Oh, how many countless back yards have I held circle! The ritual itself was fairly simple. We used a tonal technique to raise energy. Wisely, Byron did not attempt anything too elaborate. This is best for a lose group in which people may not be completely in tune with each other's energies.

Burning Times Memorial

It was a windy and somewhat chilly night that I went to attend the burning times memorial service that was being held at the Unity Center in Arden. I arrived a bit late and was given a candle by Kim who was expecting me and I took my place. Byron nodded hello to me from across the circle. We did some chants and sang a song to get things started. We then moved to see the film The Burning Times which had been made by the Canadian National Film board. I am not sure how, but I had never seen the movie before. Even though I knew all the history, had read the books of and/or met all of the people that they interviewed, it was quite moving emotionally to see everything presented in this way. When we returned to the circle, Kim asked us to talk about how the film made us feel. It was very evident that the movie stirred up quite a bit of emotion in the group from the responses of the assembled group. We then listened to Byron as she read from part of a play that she is writing. It told of women in modern times in South Africa. It was a way of bringing the past together with the present, as we realised that people are being persecuted to this day for the very same reasons that we saw in the film. We ended with a ritual in which we lit candles for people that had died, people who perhaps had never been remembered.

Going to this memorial inspired me to write a "Common Commode" that dealt with the issues concerning the burning times. It felt to me very important to let more people know about this horrible dark moment in human history, lest it ever happen again.

Guest Speaker - Dixie Deerman:

This section on Wicca was odd for me in that it was my own religion being put under the microscope for examination. Considering that most people don't have a favourable view of Wicca to begin with, it seemed especially important for me that the speaker put forth the best impression. I must admit that I was a bit apprehensive after meeting with the speaker. With her bleached hair and white face and make-up she looked as though she might be trying a bit too hard to seem like she fit into some sort of "spooky" stereotype. What disturbed me perhaps more than just the appearance was what she had to say about Wicca. I felt that she stressed all the wrong things. She seemed to speak mostly of spells and how you could use them to get what you wanted. It made it sound like people became Witches to gain power - and worst of all, she suggested that you could use it to get power over others. This is not only presenting a bad image, but is absolutely against Wiccan beliefs. I felt that I must say something about this situation. I tried to ask some questions about using power to force someone to do something against their will, and only then did she mention that it would not be considered proper, then it seemed as little more than a side note. This disturbed me greatly and made me wonder what the rest of the class might think of Wicca.

The Public Witch Spectacle

The religion class attended a public witch ritual that was being put on by Dixie Deerman. At first, I had it in my head that the event was going to held in some out of the way location, having heard it was being held in a park. I guess that I must have thought this because every event I have ever been involved with has been held in some out of the way place. The most public space I have ever heard of a Pagan ritual being held is in a Unitarian Church. I was a little apprehensive about having a Samhain Ritual in such a public space. It somehow seemed to feel weird to have such a personal ritual taking place in such an open space under the watching eyes of so many curious onlookers. The police lurking about made me even more nervous. The ritual itself was very chaotic. People seemed unclear as to what was going on. We held on to a string and passed through "the underworld" to emerge in the Summerlands. The string snapped in my hand. I wonder what symbology that might have had! After the ritual, I did have the opportunity to speak with some local pagans. But it seemed that I did not have enough time to really make any good contacts (which is what I had hoped to do). I spoke briefly with a Crone that Byron knew that seemed very interesting, but she lives a distance away and I am not sure if I would be able to get out that way to visit. I also had a chance to flirt with a cute pagan boy, and think he might have been flirting back and perhaps even was about to give me his number when Leah Mack dragged me off - how could she! It was nice to be around a group of pagans again, I just wish it had been under much better circumstances.

"Hey, are you guys having some sort of Seance?"

I felt really apprehensive about how people might have viewed Wicca after having Madame Creepy in the class and the fiasco in the middle of Asheville. To me, Samhain is a contemplative time, not a carnival. To be sure, there are times when fun and merriment is a great thing and am all for it. But I did not feel that any of the events that the class had been exposed to really gave a good explanation of Wicca or the Samhain Sabot. I was very glad when Jeanne said that we could do a ritual in the class. For me, ritual takes on meaning not because the right forms are used or that you go to elaborate means to pull it off. Ritual is most meaningful for me when it is done with people with whom you can connect and share.
I feel like this particular class has become bonded somewhat due to our shared experiences - mostly the trip to the Holocaust Museum. I felt really good about the way that people were open and willing to participate and share during the ritual. I felt much better about things after we were done and felt especially good that I had been able to have a meaningful Samhain ritual after all.

In the basement of Sage

Several people in the religion class who were concentrating on Wicca were having trouble finding another Wiccan ritual to attend. Byron seems to have fallen off the face of the Earth (or perhaps got sick of Wilsonites bugging her) so we had our ritual together. I am an officially certified and initiated witch, gosh darn it! I must admit that I had no clue what we might do ahead of time. People started filtering on to my room slowly. Tara and I played De-Lux Galaga on my computer while waiting for everyone. People all finally showed up and we hauled Ye Olde Ritual Boxe downstairs to the SageBasement (TM). Not sure what to do, I just pulled out some of the stuff and just started explaining what they were, what they represented, etc. We talked informally about wicca and paganism.. When I got out a smudge stick, we decided to go outside and smudge ourselves. Considering what sage smells like when burned, it was not a good idea to do it indoors! Outside, I burned the sage in an ablone shell and we passed the smoke over each other. A person from Sage whom I lent Starhawk's Spiral Dance just happened to be walking by and we asked him to join us. We went back to the basement and I was playing with my flint and steel and talking about how our Coven in Richmond had lit a Yule fire using Flint and Steel. I told everyone of the old custom of putting out the village fires and relighting a new one in the center of town. I confessed that I had never really mastered the art of flint and steel, however. Someone suggested that I try using dryer lint to start the fire. OK. I was willing to try. So we gathered firewood and went up to the fireplace. We made an altar and got two more people to join our circle. Tara read a call and respond reading, "The Sun Shall be Reborn," from my Book of Shadows whilst I attempted to light the Sacred Dryer Lint. Well, she was getting down to the last lines when POOF! the stuff caught fire. It was a struggle to get the wet wood to light, but it finally did. We shared with each other what things we would like to be born in our lives in the coming year. Things ended up coming together rather well after all.. It was one of those spontaneous circles that turned out quite well. Now that I look back on my experiences with Wicca, it is these spontaneous circles that have always ended up being the most profound.

COMMON COMMODE
It's the end of October, a time when small children start to think of candy and college students start to think of Halloween Parties. (No, this is not going to be one of those "don't get drunk" PSAs.) Halloween is yet another one of those holidays in which we do lots of stuff, but we're not exactly sure why, hell it's just another great excuse to drink beer. Halloween does actually, however, have some significant religious roots.

This time of the year was known as Samhain (pronounced SOW-in or SAH-vin) by the old pre-christian Celtic peoples. Although most of the other Pagan holidays became incorporated into Christianity (rebirth of the Sun-King becomes Christmas, celebration for Goddess Eostar becomes Easter, etc.) Samhain really has never been incorporated into the Christian mythos. Today we think of ghosts and ghouls and they play Texas Chain Saw Massacre and Friday the 13th endlessly on the tube. The original holiday did have to do with the dead as well, but it was not in the context of the dead coming out of the ground and roaming around as zombies. The Ancients believed that at this time of the year that the "veil between the worlds" of the incarnate and discarnate was the thinnest. This belief had little to do with theology and was more influenced by the way people observed and interacted with Nature. This was the time of year that things were dying: the trees became bare, the grasses withered, and you might start to pick which animals to slaughter before winter. The people theorised that if many were passing from this world to the next at this time (to them all life was pretty much equal) then the gates to the "other side" must be opened wide to allow everyone through and that spirits on the "other side" could pass through that extra space. These spirits were not necessarily feared. Often people would leave food and drink out or set a place out for those spirits of loved ones and ancestors who might come to visit. This, then, was a time to honour these ancestors and departed family and friends.

With the coming of Christianity to Europe, these old beliefs clashed with the new. The old styles of worship that honoured the Earth Mother, and thus all women, were being forcibly replaced with the Roman Church. Churches were built on the site of old Sacred Groves. People were being forced off their land and into crowded cities. In the countryside, however, the people that were closest to the land most naturally stayed true to their old ways and old beliefs. In fact, the word "pagan" comes from the Roman "Pagani", from the countryside (i.e.- hick). Soon the Roman Church became more insistent that everyone convert to their religion. All other religions were condemned as blasphemy and were branded as evil. The Goddesses and Gods of the old religion were either incorporated into the new one as Saints, such as Bridgit, or were turned into devils, such as the goat-footed Pan who became the model for the Christian Devil (after a little red paint was slapped on).

In Medieval times during the Plagues, the Church made its definitive move to wipe out the Old Religion once and for all. The Inquisition brought fear and death though out Europe and by the end of it, perhaps as many as 9 million people were killed, mostly women. During this time, plagues were sweeping through the land and people were finding no comfort in the Church. Even worse, some were finding help through the village herbalists and Wise Women. They were perceived as a threat to the Church and male dominance. They healed the sick; they helped women to have control over their pregnancies (i.e. - could provide abortions if needed); and they passed on knowledge of not only herbs, but of the Old Religion. They were seen as a threat not only by the Church, but also the new male dominated Physicians. They were hunted down and killed. The Church wrote manuals instructing what torture was to be used and exactly what one was to confess to have done. Witch hunting soon became a very profitable profession and the madness escalated to terrifying proportions and in some places entire villages were wiped out.

Now all we have left is a hodgepodge of customs we've forgotten why we do. As you go through all your usual Hallow'een customs this year, perhaps you may also remember those who died during the "Burning Times," which was a forgotten Holocaust of women and those who practiced a different religion. It is important that events like this not be forgotten, lest they be allowed to happen again. Blessed Be.