K. Mark Demma
Psy 215 -Summers
Interview #1
Justin was born in a moderate sized city in South Carolina. He lived on the military base that his father served. He described his father's side of the family as being conservative and very Christian in their values. Later in his childhood, his parents separated and he went to live with his mother in a small town in North Carolina. He describes this town as "resembling a soap opera" and tells of town gossips spreading news about the local townspeople. Justin saw the banter of the gossips, which was considered as being rather important in this small town, as "rather insignificant." His mother's side of the family was less concerned with religion as his father's. He said that his mother saw church more in a social context than a religious one.
Despite his mother's indifference to religion, Justin became involved with his church's Junior High School group. This time of his life was especially traumatic for him because, aside from dealing with all the usual tribulations of adolescence, his parents had unsuccessfully tried to come back together. He remembers that he and his brother found that they had to find support in each other to get though this time because "we could not count on our parents." Justin soon found himself ostracized from his church because he "started asking too many questions." The minister made visits to their home and it became the mission of some of the "old church bitties" to "save him from his evil ways."
In High School, Justin found direction in life from a school teacher whom he describes as a "father figure" for him. He introduced Justin to biking, rock climbing, and hiking. He imbued in him what he would later understand to be a Taoist viewpoint of the world. This included a love for nature and being in tune with natural forces. Unlike the church experience, his mentor never forced his beliefs or ways of thinking on him. This appreciation of nature seems to have made a deep influence on the way he views the world around him.
Justin went to Appalachian State after High School on an athletic scholarship. He said that he picked up many new ideas in the area of philosophy, but was uncomfortable with many aspects of college life. He disliked the large, impersonal classes and the multiple choice tests and the mind set that went along with them. Yet again in his life, he found himself questioning. This time, however, he was questioning professors whom he saw as claiming to have their own version of absolute truth in the form of Science. He found himself doing "outdoor things" to escape school. Nature became a place Justin felt truly comfortable. He valued immensely the time spent alone in the wild and the "physical perspective on life."
Justin decided to take some time off from school. He spent a year in Montana in a succession of events that he describes as, "Mountains, snow, playing, starvation, home." Perhaps this time of reflection for Justin gave him the opportunity to have his "vision quest." When he returned, he sought out a smaller school that would allow him the freedom to explore and question more freely. He found himself at Warren Wilson College.
Justin's "faith" seems to be grounded not in any one institution or dogma, but rather in the transcendent experience of the natural world that goes beyond theology. He sees the meaning in life (although he is uncomfortable with such terms) as the "exploration of self." He finds ways of exploring himself through competition and high endurance activities. Justin does have good relationships with some close friends, mostly on the cross country team, but says he mostly likes to stick to himself.
When asked about purpose in life, Justin again takes a very pragmatic approach. He does not see there being one set purpose in life, but it is up to each person to discover their own unique purpose for themselves. His approach to life seems to resemble the Native one in that he sees, "no person as being any more meaningful than any other life on this planet... being alive means being part of the system of life." He claims no set rituals in his life, save perhaps his running. He says that "endurance affiliated activities give you an awesome feeling of being subject to life and the fact that you are not separate from everything else -- you are subject to pain." When Justin "seeks guidance" (another term he seemed uncomfortable with) he says that he does not attempt to contact some higher power, but rather seeks guidance within his own self. Justin also diverges from the traditional religious view on death in that he sees it as "the point at which we no longer exist," and sees there being no afterlife.
When asked about God, Justin puts it simply:
"God is everything. Society has called God many names, but originally
God was a great connectedness. Everything has gotten skewed into personifying
God, a God which can make you feel guilty, a God that can oppress, a God
that could see you as being sinful. "
He also seems to have little use for the concept of sin, seeing it as simply
a label for something that conflicts with a society's values. He believes
that, "being alive gives you values, you should intuitively know how
you should treat others by knowing what you would not want someone to do
to you."
Justin, thus, has independently (it would seem) come to the same conclusion that Jesus and many others "spiritual masters" had also arrived (i.e. -- Golden Rule). It would seem that his theology is entirely created not from things that he had to be taught by a religion or a Great Teacher, but rather from being shown what direction to head and the willingness to question and trust his own judgment. He found a way to find his voice and become an independent person despite the oppressive religion he was exposed to as a child. Perhaps many would say that Justin is not a spiritual person because they would not be able to attach a label to his beliefs, but when examining beyond the superficial one will see a deeply spiritual person who has spent the time to do what few actually do: to spend the time to try to understand themselves in relation to the world around them.