Hello, and welcome to the first issue of the Commode this year and my first time writing it. It is also the first issue that will be coming from the Minister to Students Office rather than the Counseling Center. With the change comes also a change in format. I'd like to make the Commode more personal than it has been.

So, lets get real personal and discuss SEX and STDs. Now, I know what you're think ing, "oh no, not more about AIDS and STDs." But considering I have you as a captive audience, because you're probably sitting on the commode right now (thus the name), I'll go ahead and talk about it anyway.

I am a nosy friend and always must know how friends dates turned out. What amazes me is how often during the discourse of giving the "gory details" someone will admit to not having used protection during sex (if that 's the where things lead). Most of the time, it's people who should know better. When I get even nosier and ask, "why not?" a whole plethora of inane excuses will usually follow: "Well, I didn't want to bring along a condom and look like a slut"; or "I was too embarrassed to talk about it"; or "it would ruin the mood"; or (perhaps the lamest) "but he (she) seemed so nice" - as if "niceness" is a protection against STDs.

The fact is that we often are very apprehensive to talk about condoms, AIDS, or STDs. I know I am. If you bring up the subject, you may wonder if your partner will think you only have sex on your mind or, even worse, that the only reason you are bringing up the subject is because you have a STD. Sometimes, things may be moving along so fast that, swept away in the passion of the moment with the nearest condoms miles away, you decide to just risk it. Sometimes you may have protection and use it, but don't use it properly because you've never got up the nerve to ask anyone exactly what is the proper way to use it.

It says right on the box that proper and consistent use of condoms is effective protection against STDs and pregnancy. The key is to use them properly and consistantly. How can you you make sure you do this?

You can learn the skills to negotiate safer sex. In other words, learn how to talk about sex and condoms (and dental dams, etc.) and carry it though. This entails:

Learning about the risks associated with various sexual activities (I.E. do your homework)

Know what you are comfortable with doing and what you are not.

Define what is "safer sex" for you.

Then learn to talk about it with your partner.

Perhaps you could talk first with some friends - become comfortable with talking about sex.

Don't wait until half your clothes are on the floor to bring up the subject.

Be firm about what you will and will not do - and let your partner know.

Take the attitude that concern over use of the proper protection during sex is a sign of caring for your partner.

Also, learn how to make it fun. Safer sex does not mean boring sex. You can make "suiting up" into a fun, playful activity. Find out what is your partner's favorite color. You may also find that many lower risk activities can be really intense and exciting. Sex doesn't always have to be "insert knob A into slot B." Also, don't think you have to have sex if you don't want to or feel the time isn't right.

I guess the main thing is caring enough about yourself that your life is more important than gettin' some nookie. Conversely, you should care enough about your partner to protect them as well. Yes, I know it sounds like a clich‚, but it's really what it all boils down to.

Educate yourself. Find someone knowledgeable to talk to about safer sex.

Call Planned Parenthood at (704) 252-7928.

The Buncombe County Health Department does free HIV tests. They offer both anony mous and confidential testing which is 99% accurate. Call for more information, ap pointment, and directions: (704) 255-5682

You can stop by the Counseling Center to pick up free information.

Oh by the way, in case you hadn't noticed, zillions of condoms are available in each dorm.